Breaking the Habit
by girlwhoisinlove
Summary: his is going to be a four chapter story about Draco's struggle with his father and his love for Hermione. All the songs belong to Linkin' Park.A DracoHermione story


b The lyrics are from the song "Somewhere I belong" From Linkin' Park b/ 

When this began  
I had nothing to say  
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me  
I was confused  
And I let it all out to find  
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind   
Inside of me  
But all the vacancy the words revealed  
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel  
Nothing to lose   
Just stuck/ hollow and alone  
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

"Now that I'm Head Boy and she is Head Girl I can see her everyday because we share living quarters, but this only makes things worse, the only thing I do when I see her is insult her.

I know I'm hurting her with every word I say, I know I make her hate me even more with everything I do, and I'm sorry for it, if only I could tell this to her, if only I could tell her how bad I fell every time I have to call her some horrible name.

But what can I do it wasn't my choice after all, I didn't have a say in what my future will be like, I was just a child when everything was decided for me.

I was confused, I couldn't understand the difference between bad and good because I was raised to believe that what people believe is good is bad.

I wish I could prove that I'm not like that, that I'm not like my father, that it hurts me so much when I see her beautiful chocolate eyes filled with tears and I can't even wipe them away.

It hurts so much, but she'll never know what I really feel because I am only allowed to feel coldness, pain and hatred.

I guess I'll forever be hollow on the inside, and maybe my fate is to serve the Dark Lord and I'll always be alone because no one can love me, and in a way it's my fault too.

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real  
I wanna let go of the pain I've held so long  
Erase all the pain till it's gone  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real  
I wanna find something I've wanted all along   
Somewhere I belong

My greatest dream is to be loved, I've never been, I've been deprived even from the love from my own mother seeing as she has always been a zombie, being under one of my father's spells.

I thought I would never be able to love, but it happened, I fell in love with the most beautiful most intelligent witch there ever was and she hates me.

I wish I could just forget all about my father and the Dark Lord and live at least one day of my life without feeling any pain, feeling free happy and loved… I've never felt free or happy or loved.

I wish I could just once be able to feel like that, I wish I could have a place I'd feel like home a place where I am welcome, a place where I belong… but until the Dark Lord exists and my father is alive I never will.

And I've got nothing to say  
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face  
I was confused  
Looking everywhere only to find  
That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind  
So what am I  
What do I have but negativity  
'Cause I can't justify the way, everyone is looking at me  
Nothing to lose   
Nothing to gain/ hollow and alone  
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

I wish I could stand up to my father, but every time I see him I just can't say a word.

When I was a kid I looked up to my father, he described himself in such a way I came to believe he was a God. But when I grew up I fell on the hard stone floor of reality, it was all a lot different than I had imagined it but it was too late to back out and I fell deeper and deeper in all my pretending.

Now everyone hates me, all I am for them is just heartless cold and rude, if only I could stand up to my father… but then again, what do I have to lose? Is it worth living if it doesn't have any goal, and is it worth dieing not having said what you think, I guess not, it's my fault I became this way, I have to stop whining and start doing something.

I will never know myself until I do this on my own  
And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed  
I will never be anything till I break away from me  
I will break away, I'll find myself today

I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong  
somewhere I belong

If I want to find my place and let out the true me I have to fight, my pain will never go away if I don't do something about it.

It's Christmas Holidays now, how I hate this holiday, maybe I wouldn't If I had an actual family to spend it with, besides, I have to go back to the mansion on Christmas, oh how I don't want to go back there, I hate that place, but then again maybe I could use it as an opportunity.

I could at last tell my father everything I have to tell him, I may not come back alive after that that's why I have to let her know how I feel

" So he got a pen and a piece of paper and wrote everything he wanted to tell her for so long ,apologized for all he did to her these past years and placed it under her pillow in her room, then he packed his bags and flew to the Mansion.

b Please leave a review telling me what you think about it, I will be very grateful if you do b/


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